Curried Goat

Speaking of goatlike manifestations from Hell, none so stylishly portrayed as Tim Curry's Lord of Darkness. This handsome devil appeared in the 1985 film Legend, directed by Ridley Scott.

He tries to win the love of an innocent and sweet young princess, but the main obstacle to that is he loves himself more than anything else. He spends a lot of time around mirrors. In short, he fancies himself.

Perhaps she would have liked him better if he hadn't kept boasting about plunging the world into eternal night by destroying the last of the unicorns. But it isn't a real unicorn anyway. It looks more like a horse with a candy cane stuck on its head. Everyone knows real unicorns look like...well, ahem, you know.

The scariest part of this movie is when she is rescued from the maniacal clutches of Darkness by Tom Cruise. I'm eagerly awaiting the sequel, where I hope someone will come along and rescue her from the maniacal clutches of Tom Cruise.

Hell and High Wether

I am doubling up on posts today because yesterday was a solemn holiday to honor a very great human being and I spent much of the day reviewing his life. The glories of living in a peaceful herd of brothers and sisters who come in all sorts of marvelous colors, patterns, and shapes is something humankind has yet to fully embrace, but we goatkind have known such harmony since the time of the First Goat (pbuhh) and the Great Freshening.

In any case, it is not just a happy coincidence that this post is also about a caprine creature as documented by director Guillermo del Toro. Wait, maybe it is...no, no, no such thing as coincidences.

This featured creepy caprine is none other than Hellboy, from the eponymous film. (Can you tell that I've been eating...er reading...Word Power: How to Improve Your Vocabulary? It was delicious...er I mean it was enlightening.)

While Hellboy has goat horns, he's actually a demon from another dimension. He keeps his horns cropped, so he can fit in with the humans. I know how that goes.

He kind of reminds me of my Uncle Courage but with a less foul temper. Oh, and he also loves cats, so how bad can he be?

Panning for Goats

This is Creepy Caprine Week and I was afraid that we would end up ruminating over a lot of B movies (no bee movies, only goat movies here).

But I am pleased to report that we start the week with a film that is this year's recipient of the Best Film of 2006 award by the National Society of Film Critics, Guillermo del Toro's gothic fantasy Pan's Labyrinth.

We have mentioned my relatives the fauns previously, but this one is very dreadful, as you can see.

However, he does seem to have some endearing qualities. Apparently, he is fond of children.

I can't wait to sit down with a bag of popcorn (well, a bag of anything really, it's the bag I actually savor) and watch it when it comes out on DVD. For some reason, they never let me into the movie theater, not even when it's a Kiddies' Matinee.

Strange Wether

Well, I have taken a hiatus for the holidays. It was so warm and lovely here there was too much green grass to munch, and I have been busy nibbling the tender tips of all the yummy spring bulbs that are poking up out of the ground in confusion.

I can feel it in my bones, this strange weather cannot be a good omen. It gives me the goat willies. The long, luxurious beautiful hair on my back stands on end when I think about how these earth changes are affecting my kindred around the globe.

Speaking of willies, next week will be devoted to scary, creepy, evil caprine kind. In the meantime, to leave you with a pleasant image for the weekend, here are two of my cousins who just got their big "brake" in a major motion picture. From the film Stardust, this is Michelle Pfieffer as the evil old crone witch (go figure!) driving her chariot pulled by a she-goat and formerly-human he-goat (lucky him!).